


Sandcastles

by hearts_kun



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene, Regret, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 20:45:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19092802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearts_kun/pseuds/hearts_kun
Summary: Now that they parted, everything reminds Killua of Gon.





	Sandcastles

There's something wrong with this sand. It's biting his skin, tiny stones, sharpest edges. It's nothing like Greed Island beaches or Whale Island forests, yet Killua makes it slither and fall through the gaps between his fingers, makes himself watch it, doesn't stop a painful grimace from appearing on his face.

Gon was like this sand. Sharp, warm sometimes, when the sun is up and bright, but most times cold. Cold and still beautiful, and a bit salty and bitter from the sea waves that coated him through their journey.

Killua throws a handful of sand away from him and closes his eyes as the wind blows all the little pieces into his face. That's... also quite like Gon. Trying to stick. Making calls, sending messages, irritating Killua's eyes with his sharpness, but in the end he's torn into bits and pieces anyway. Not alive anymore, not for himself, who has lost his dream, and certainly not for Killua.

Alluka puts her hand on his shoulder. It's warm, much warmer than the cruel blinding sand. Killua shakes the last bits of it off his hands, "Wanna go home?"

Alluka shakes her head slowly and sits down beside him, right on that scratchy sand. Killua wants to feel glad, but he feels constrained and broken.

Alluka digs her hands into the dry surface sand and grabs the wet underlying layer, and begins building a sandcastle. Her face is calm and neutral, and Killua wonders how many of his thoughts she reads, knows, understands.

He never talks to her about Gon, but by the way she acts he knows she's aware. He's afraid it hurts her. He's afraid he's not doing her any good by dragging her along wherever he goes.

Sometimes he wants to ask if she was happier then, locked away from the world in a room full of toys.

She finishes building the second tower. It's small and ugly, and Alluka is not very good at building stuff, but Killua smiles. He likes it. He wonders if their life together is also that small and ugly, and fragile just like this unfinished sandcastle.

Alluka gives him a trying look and keeps on building. Somehow she seems way more mature than him these days.

They stay like that for a while even after the fourth tower is built and standing tall over the rest. Killua tries not to touch the sand anymore, tries not to think how it reminds him of Gon. Alluka stares at the sun, slowly drowning in the sea.

When it becomes dark Killua gently touches her shoulder, "Come on. Let's go home."

Alluka nods, looks at her sandcastle one last time and stands up with a smile. Killua hugs her shortly and says she did well.

He wishes someone told him he did well when he was parting Gon for what feels like forever.

He wishes he could actually build a home for Alluka and not just call hotel rooms that.

As they walk away, one of the sandtowers falls.


End file.
